On Mottos and the Future

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If I had a motto, beyond "No, leave me alone", it would be Numquam Dubita. Like all good pithy Latin phrases, it's a little obscure, pseudo-profound, and hard to fathom until it's explained to you. Numquam Dubita can be translated as a range of things: 'Never Regret', 'Never Doubt', 'Never Hesitate'. It has senses close to 'carpe diem', or even 'keep on trucking'. At a push, it can mean (and it pains me to say this) 'be true to yourself'.

 But the sense of it is always the same. It's a rejection of fear. A rejection of the belief that the universe is bigger than you. A rejection of life grabbing you by the throat and sending you wither it wills. It's the affirmation that you are a true agent, that the things that constitute your life are decided by you and you alone, and that you are the only one with power over yourself.

 That thought becomes important to me at this time of year. For the past weeks, you've been saying goodbyes to people, to places, and to a way of life you are unlikely ever to recapture. You've seen many people for the last time, for better or worse, and you're starting in on your next step. Whether you're voyaging off into the real world to get a job or finding internships and graduate schemes, whether you're entering the murky world of postgraduate study or simply entering another year of your degree, you're set to turn from what has been and find new challenges, new opportunities.

 This process is always accompanied by a lot of emotion. There's sadness in the parting of friends and leaving home. There's regret in the paths not taken, the opportunities missed. There's anxiety over what is to come, what the road ahead consists of. But Numquam Dubita tells us not to let these feelings overcome us. The three meanings of the phrase point to a truth: that regret, doubt, and hesitation are the same emotion, displaced in time. They are the past, present, and future fear that the things we do are not the right things.

 This is the biggest lie life has taught you so far. You've been led to believe that there are wrong things to do, wrong ways to live, wrong ways to be. You've been told that you have to take other people's opinion of your life into account. You've been informed that there are hoops to jump through to be successful, to be happy, to be alive. This is absolutely untrue. There's no plan, no script to your existence. Life is what you make of it. The things you do, the good things and the bad things, the big things and the little things, they are all the right things to do simply because it's you doing them. This doesn't mean that every choice will make you happy, or take you where you want to be, but they will make you you. And that is the foundation of any significance life has. 

 So shed a tear over leaving home and your family. Daydream about how your life might have been. Worry about what is to come. But never, never doubt that you're doing the right thing. What Numquam Dubita ultimately means to me is 'Look Ahead'. Look Ahead to the next challenge, instead of dwelling on old victories and defeats. Look Ahead to the blank canvas of tomorrow and revel in it. Numquam Dubita means that here and now, it is enough that you are. And that's what gives meaning to the rest.

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